87% True: The Lies That Bind

Fringe Tour and Chris' Scarf - FINISHED!

It's the last day of the Vancouver Fringe, folks, and our tour officially ended yesterday with our last show at the Waterfront Theatre! It was a pretty sweet way to go out - a fantastic crowd, a finished scarf for Chris and a lot of martinis (after the show - AFTER THE SHOW, PEOPLE!) for Rose. Rumour has it Chris' friends brought some clippers to end the reign of the 'stache after the show - did they make good on their threats? Stay tuned! In the meantime - Chris, the 'stache and yes, yes - his birthday scarf.

 

 

Jealous?

Slurpee count = 107

Fourth "Opening Night" - Good Times

Next show tonight! Saturday, Sept 9! 5:30 p.m.! Waterfront Theatre!

Vancouver is the last stop on our four city tour of Fringe love and so last night's 9 p.m. show was our last "opening night". Sniff. We were deeply spoiled by having a fantastic crowd and we had a great time doing the show. Apparently, there was a couple in the audience who was also having a great time sketching Chris, Rose, Hugo the Bear, etc. while we were in action DURING the show. Hey, sketchers! If you're reading this, our friends thought your drawings were amazing! We'd love to see them!

Speaking of spoiled, Chris decided to surprise Rose on this last opening night with the most awesome gift ever! Jealous? It was a signed poster of Poofy du Vey (a.k.a. Courtney Cunningham), whose fantastic solo clown show Burden of Poof bowled us over in Saskatoon. Rose's opening night "gift" to Chris was the hissy fit she threw briefly after the show - clearly, Rose will have to step it up for closing night. Hookers! Blow! Knitting! Chris deserves it all and more.

Slurpee count = 98

87% True - 75% Done

Well, we closed out the Edmonton Fringe in style this weekend, with much merriment and mini donuts. We were lucky to not only have two fantastic houses for our last two shows, but we ALSO had many beloved family members from far away places in those audiences and then in the beer tent afterwards. Woooo! Many thanks to Rose's gorgeous aunts, aunt-in-law and cousins and cousins-in-law who came up from Calgary and in from Sherwood Park and to Chris's sisters who actually left the lake this fine weekend to see the show. THAT'S love, people. LOVE!!

Special thanks also to our awesome Edmonton stage manager, Lindsey Walker, who was a delightful ray of sunshine and who gave us little plastic bears ("Randolph" and "Petunia") for our final show (she painted the toenails on Rose's) and to our fantastic house technicians Amy and Ryan, who always let us in early and told us hilarious stories of Fringes past and laughed at our dumb jokes.

We've had a blast at the Edmonton Fringe. The kind of blast that makes us have delusions about "next year's Fringe tour". HA ha!

So next stop -  Vancouver! Pictures of the road trip and Rose's knitting to come!

Slurpee count = 91

Curse of the Second Show - BROKEN! We hope.

Three more chances to catch the "warm and witty", "equal parts lambasting and laughter" fun of 87% True at the Edmonton Fringe! Here are the goods:

Sutton Stage 9, Walterdale Playhouse, 10322 - 83rd Ave

Wed, August 23        2:15 PM
Sat, August 26          7:15 PM
Sun, August 27         2:15 PM

In other news . . . well, you knew it had to happen. Our blogging has been interrupted by our long, delightful sessions with that most prized of Fringe delicacies - mini-donuts. We eat them before the show - we eat them after the show. We shared some with Rose's awesome blog pal Kristen, who stopped off during her family's insane cross-country vacation and saw our opening show. We bought them for Lindsey Walker, our lovely stage manager.  We introduced them to Rose's girlfriend Kate, who was up for the weekend - Chris guided Kate to the mini-donut machine, so that Kate could watch the tiny donuts' "greasy journey towards our bellies." When we shake out our clothes at night, bits of sugar and cinnamon cascade onto the floor. Last night, Rose found donut sugar in her bra. Good times, people. Good times.

You know what else is good times? 87% True at the Edmonton Fringe! Our opening show was lots of fun - we had a generous and enthusiastic crowd both in numbers and in response. In fact, our first audience in Edmonton was larger than our biggest crowd in Saskatoon, causing both of us do little dances of glee in the mini donut line-up afterwards before hitting Chris's second love - the beer garden. The Grasshopper flags flutter in the wind and Chris - he gets goosebumps. And then drunk.

Now, as most of you long-time readers may recall, our second show in Toronto was marred by the slide projector breaking down as the show started and our second show in Saskatoon was cursed by Rose being horribly, disgustingly sick and by the quietest audience in the West. So we were a little nervous about our second show in Edmonton. We envisioned some kind of horrid combination of the first two "second shows" - the slide projector breaking down because Rose puked on it, you know, something like that. But it seems that the Curse of the Second Show was broken Sunday night. We had over 120 folks in the audience and if the constant guffawing was any indication, they all seemed to be having as good a time as we were. A little volunteer bird told us that we may have had some press in the house Sunday night as well, which is cool, as we feel that the Curse of the Second Show would truly be laid to rest if we got a good review off said second show. We'll keep you posted. Wooo!

We continue to be amazed both at the sheer volume of theatre-lovin' folks at the Fringe here and at our show's seemingly ageless appeal - we've routinely had strollers on one side and walkers on the other. And it's awesome. Thanks to all you fine folks who've made it out to the show - we raise our mini donuts in salute! And if you haven't been, come check it out! It's funny - it's deeply historical - we'll go for mini donuts after.

Slurpee count = 85 (Slurpee drinking curbed by proximity to mini-donuts)

Edmonton, Alberta - Where the Streets Are Paved With Gold

"Wait minute," Chris said in alarm, as he inspected the concession tents being set up along the Fringe strip yesterday afternoon, "WHERE ARE THE MINI DONUTS?!?"

"Don't worry," said some random babe in a hat who'd overhead Chris' panicked exclamation, "they'll be right around the corner there. Same place as last year."

Chris breathed a sigh of relief. Thank you, soothing stranger!

So we're here! Rose is queer! And the beer tent is beside our venue! Could anything be more perfect? We think not. Again, an Edmonton Fringe showtime and location refresher:

Sutton Stage 9, Walterdale Playhouse, 10322 - 83rd Ave

Fri, August 18          4:15 PM
Sun, August 20         7:00 PM
Mon, August 21        4:15 PM
Wed, August 23        2:15 PM
Sat, August 26          7:15 PM
Sun, August 27         2:15 PM

For other show schedules and key Fringe info, check out the fantastic Edmonton Fringe website!

Chris and Rose grew up here in Edmonton and we have long considered the Edmonton Fringe to be the pinnacle of all things Fringe-y. But it occurred to us, as we swept into the city Monday afternoon, that neither of us has actually BEEN at the Edmonton Fringe since 1998, when Rose was performing in one show, had written and directed another show and was also asked to be on the Sterling Theatre Awards jury for the Fringe, which meant she had to see 40 shows in 10 days. It was pretty awesome. But after a Fringe like that, who can blame a gal for taking a break?

Back when we were last here, the Fringe offices were in kind of a old warehouse-type building that smelled like guano. Now they look like this:

Chris took this photo with tears in his eyes. "Our little Fringe has grown up so much," he sighed as I sniffled. Happy 25th, Edmonton Fringe! It's a privilege to be here performing, uh . . . at you. We raise our mini-donuts in your honour! Also, Slurpees.

Slurpee count = 83

2 Fringes Down - 2 to Go!

Ah, Saskatoon. How we have loved you. Particularly on Saturday night, when your rolling and enthusiastic laughter at our ridiculous antics made for our best show yet. The kind of show where people stop you on the street after. The kind of show that reminds you what the hell you're doing a Fringe tour FOR. The kind of show that you wish you could have ended on - so we'll pretend that we did. Sunday afternoon show? What Sunday afternoon show? HA ha!

This was our first time at the Saskatoon Fringe and we really enjoyed it. Sure, there were some "organizational issues", which were matched by "bitter performers crapping in an unprofessional manner on the Fringe staff at Spoof Night issues", but, uh, we had a good time and we would gladly return. People were friendly, the Slurpees were plentiful and while we didn't make much money, we definitely made enough to pay for gas to Edmonton. After all, if we were in this for the money . . . blah blah blah. Come see our show!!!

Slurpee count = 78

The Curse of the Second Show Strikes Again!

Our opening night in Saskatoon was pretty fantastic. Even though we know only two people in Saskatoon, considerably more than two people showed up and they were a generous and enthusiastic crowd.

We've re-written the show since Toronto and have a couple of new scenes we'd never performed for anyone, so it was great try them out and not be booed offstage. Huzzah! Thanks to all you folks to came out, to our venue tech Andy who ran the show flawlessly, to Rose's aunt who fed us and our egos with popcorn and the biased feedback you need from family and to the folks to stopped us on the street on the way to the Green Room to tell us "Great show!" You all totally made our night.

As some of you long-time 87% True blog readers may recall, Rose and Chris's second show at the Toronto Fringe was marred by their slide projector dying at the very beginning of the show, causing Chris and Rose to:

a) crap their pants with fear;

b) do most of the show like deer in headlights, trying frantically to figure out how to deal with the missing slides as the show progressed; and

c) improvise so successfully around the malfunctioning slide projector that most people didn't actually realize the slide projector was SUPPOSED to be working and just thought the show was kinda . . . lame.

This time, we thought we were in the clear. 2 p.m. show on a Saturday is a great time; Chris had been flyering enthusiastically and while we haven't been reviewed yet here in Saskatoon, we haven't gotten a bad review either. So we were pretty pumped about Show #2.

The night before Show #2, Rose was out quite late babysitting for Michelle and Bob, who are doing the fabulous Deep Fried Curried Perogies here at the Saskatoon Fringe (check it out!).

When she got home, Rose was feeling . . . "a little funny". What followed was the kind of Norwalk Virus nightmare you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy - the kind where you're sitting on the john and holding a bucket and using them simultaneously multiple times. The kind of sick where the bedsheets catch it in the crossfire. The kind of sick where you're so miserable it's kind of funny because HOW CAN THIS EVEN BE HAPPENING? The kind of sick that makes you wonder if you're going to make it through the night, let alone to Show #2. THAT kind of sick.

Rose was shocked to discover the next morning that she was the only one of the 5 people currently here at El Casa de Rose's Aunt and Uncle who was ill in any way. She was also reduced (GAH!) to drinking Gatorade again, which she swore she'd never do after the dysentery incident in June. She got dizzy holding her arms up above her head to put her hair in a pony tail and then she had to lie down. Alot. It wasn't looking good, people. And yet - the show, it must go on!

Rose changed into her costume beforehand, so she wouldn't wear herself out getting changed at the venue. Chris brought a stool for backstage, so Rose could sit her sorry ass down and suck Gatorade until the show started. We made sure there was a garbage bin in the wings for emergency vomiting.
Right up until the lights went down, Rose wasn't sure she could do it. But then the show started . . . and we were doin' it! No barfing in the trunk, no running offstage for a visit to the ladies' shitter - it was actually a pretty tight show, all things considered. And it was because we were both so thrilled that Rose wasn't in a coma that it took us nearly a third of the show to notice that the audience . . . was.

We'd like to think the audience enjoyed the show yesterday, but we couldn't really tell. It was so quiet, we could occasionally hear our own voices echoing through the theatre. When the show is a comedy, that's not so great.

But then we got this lovely comment on the Fringe Forum:

I enjoyed this one very much. It is very convincing with its lighthearted humour. A must see for anyone who wants to leave feeling a little bit more adventurous and less of a stickler that when they arrived.

Hey, right on! Thanks, "the witch"! Clearly, they were laughing on the INSIDE! HUZZAH!

slurpee count = 70 (Chris was very brave, drank Slurpees for two)

"I Think I Flyered the Premier"

Oh my god. We're here, we're queer (well, just Rose is) and WE LOVE SASKATOON.

The glory began when we arrived at Rose's aunt and uncle's place, which is a) beautiful and b) literally a stone's throw from Broadway, the main Fringe Fest drag here in town. We made it through the lobby/safari:

And, after a good night's rest, we showed up at Venue #1, The Broadway Theatre, for our technical rehearsal. It, ah, was easy to find.

We were a little worried coming to Saskatoon because this is the only Fringe where we didn't manage to scare up a stage manager. So we sent our script ahead, crossed our fingers and lucked right the hell out. Andy, our venue technician, is FANTASTIC. Within the first five minutes of our rehearsal, he actually uttered the phrase "I'm here to make you guys happy" WITHOUT IRONY. Rose nearly cried.

So today is the opening day of the Fringe here in Saskatoon and we spent much of the afternoon pestering local merchants to let us put up posters, handing out some super-cool buttons, kickin' it at the Booster Juice, cornering a writer from the Star-Phoenix and talking about ourselves and then . . . then Chris unknowingly flyered not only the Honourable Lorne Calvert, Premier of Saskatchewan:

But also Donald J. Atchison, the Mayor of Saskatoon:

 

Well done, Chris!

87% True is opening here in just a few hours, so we'd better get ready. 'Cause no matter how big and crazy it gets, Chris's mustache refuses to trim itself. Lazy bastard.

Slurpee count = 65

Escape - COMPLETE!

It was with tears of joy and gratitude that we stopped on the Trans Canada Highway to take the following photo:

Woohoo! We spent our first (and only) Manitoba night nestled delightfully at Chris's good friend's parents' farm just outside Winnipeg. It was animals galore - between the Great Dane, the two cats, the horses and the alpacas, we were in cute, fuzzy heaven. Also, gigantic piles of dung alert.

Rose, who plays a large animal vet in the show and yet is actually terribly allergic to nature and most animals, decided to try a little method acting with Sequoia here:

Chris made a new friend who likes to chew on things, like his shorts:

 

And Chris also thanked Chairman Meow for allowing us to use his name in our show:

And then the knitter in Rose coveted the hilarious prize alpacas. We didn't take them with us, but only because Chris said they wouldn't fit in El Trucko.

The kickin' farm in Winnipeg was our last stop before hittin' Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, the site of our next Fringe! Saskatoon - there's a reason they call it the "Paris of the Prairies". We're about to find out.

Slurpee count = 63

Almost Out of Ontario

Hey, guess what? Ontario is BIG. It's so big that we've been driving for 4 days and WE'RE STILL IN ONTARIO.

Now, to be fair, we took it fairly easy the first few days. Our first stop was Sudbury, Blueberry Capital of the World, where Chris and I stayed with his kind and lovely friends from Salt Spring Island. It was Chris' 30th birthday that day and so his friends made him a pie. We ate the pie and pronounced it the best damn pie we'd ever had. We also has our astrological charts done, so now, in addition to our roadmap of Canada, we have a roadmap for our LIVES. Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaah!

Night Two was spent in beautiful downtown Wawa, Ontario. As we know no one in Wawa, we kicked it to the Sportsman's Motel (Spend the Night - Not a Fortune!) Chris hit the Beer Store and Rose hit the Macs for a Slurpee. Then we had to run the gauntlet of sportsman loitering in the parking lot right outside our room.  On the way out of town, we hit the Giant Goose. Chris' imaginative pose inspired countless other tourists and as we left, several people were imitating the goose in flight. Chris briefly considered a career as a cult leader, but then Rose poked him with her knitting needle and told him to keep his damn eyes on the road.

And then there was Night Three, which we spent in the palatial home of Rose's dad's friends Bob and Carol. Bob and Carol weren't home but they left us a key and we were in there like dirty shirts, splashing in Lake Superior, scampering about their gorgeous home and touching all of their stuff. Being conservationists, we took care to leave only footprints. And perhaps a little sand. And a bottle of wine, 'cause we're all class.

One of the highlights of the evening was when Rose answered the phone and it was Bob and Carol's daughter on the other end. "What?" she said, bewildered by Rose's peppy "Hi, Bob and Carol's place!" "Where the hell are my parents?" "They're off in the States," Rose told her, "and we're in their house! But not in an illegal way." Rose neglected to mention to Bob and Carol's daughter that Chris would be sleeping in her room that night. HA ha!

Also, over the course of this journey, we remembered that we are doing a show! And that we rewrote chunks of the show we did in Toronto! And that we don't know all our new lines! So when were weren't reading our astrological charts, fussing with the iPod, passing the same camper van 8 times in 2 hours, eating a greasy, bacon-y breakfast, stopping at the Sev in Dryden for a Slurpee or knitting, we were rehearsing! We hope that yelling over the raging wind from the open truck windows as we speed down the Trans Canada at 100 km/hour will help us with our "projection" skills.

And so here we are, minutes from the Ontario/Manitoba border, in the nicest, most comfortable coffee shop in Kenora, Ontario. It's called HoJoe's. And the frozen hot chocolate makes the Second Cup's taste like hot buttered ASS. Next stop - The 'Peg!

Slurpee count = 59