Creampuff is Canadian
Tomorrow is Canada Day! Yay Canada! Oh, Canada - you're not perfect, but you are definitely worth celebrating. I plan to observe this national holiday by belting out my favourite patriotic tune, The Canada Song, and consuming unseemly amounts of our national drink - Slurpees. With just a touch of vodka.
Some random things I love about Canada:
Jokes about beavers - I totally love that our national animal is the beaver. Industrious yet dumpy. Suggestive yet ridiculous. They mark their territory with "scent mounds". It delights me.
The island made of chocolate - Did you know that here in British Columbia, there's an island made entirely of chocolate? It's true! It's called Denman Island and you can eat everything there - rocks, trees, garbage cans, you name it! Or so I HEAR. It's not too far from Saltspring Island, which is the island made entirely of pot.
Folk musicians - Speaking of pot, my parents are avid folk festival fans and it's thanks to them that I once ate lunch next to k.d. lang and touched the Violent Femmes. It's true that I love the crappy pop but nothing lifts my soul quite like Maria Dunn or Amelia Curran or Evalyn Parry or The Be Good Tanyas or... you get the idea. Canadian folkiness - you please me.
Things that are filmed in Vancouver - I get a geeky thrill when I watch films and tv shows that are shot in Vancouver. The X-Files, Battlestar Galactica, Bionic Woman - it makes me feel COOL. I get an even bigger thrill when I recognize Canadian actors on the American shows that are filmed in Canada. For example, we recently discovered cute lesbian comedy Exes and Ohs, which was not only mostly shot in Vancouver but also stars Marnie Alton, who's from Edmonton and was in my very first play when I was 16.
Here's the scary part - it's been 17 years and she looks EXACTLY THE SAME. Totally gorgeous. Me, I look more an more like our national animal every year. Industrious yet dumpy. Also, strangely fuzzy.
Cake Beauty - It's summertime and the living is a little dry and flaky, especially around our ankles. I've been dying for some serious exfoliation and rubbing my feet up against the throngs of Cirque du Soleil patrons isn't cutting it. So Katr and I went a little wild in Cake Beauty's online store. We're getting some citrus squeeze brown sugar scrub and a few other deliciousnesses. I'm not going to lie to you guys - I've been thinking about it. A LOT. This shit cannot get here fast enough. And when it does...I might never leave the tub.
Anne of Green Gables - It's no secret that I believe Anne of Green Gables turned me gay. The close female friendships, the après-ball "sleepovers", Anne getting Diana drunk on currant wine while Marilla was out - let's face it, Anne of Green Gables was practically The L Word of 1908. That's right - 1908. That means that this year is the 100th anniversary of Anne!!
To celebrate this momentous occasion, Moynan King and I are co-curating a night of hot Anne lesbian cabaret action called Anne Made Me Gay: When Kindred Spirits Get Naked at Buddies in Bad Times in Toronto, November 28th. I know!! A whole night of Anne!! Be there - bring your gingham and your bosom friend.
I could go on, but it might take away from my pre-Canada Day Slurpee drinking (you have to lay a base). Instead, I turn it over to you, fellow beaver lovers! Happy Canada Day to all of you and may the Great Beaver grant your every desire!
May I be the first then, to wish you a Happy Canada Day. It is an honor to live next to such a lovely country. Yay Canada! I hear in Canada, no one goes to hell. Or is mean. So, that is nice.
Posted by: witchtrivets | June 30, 2008 at 04:14 PM
Oh my lord you DO have everything out there on the left coast! An island of chocolate! Totally not fair (given that I live in an island of mullets it seems)! Slurpees are totally mandatory on Canada day, and caffeine of any kind gets the little one playing rock'em sock'em uterus so tomorrow should be fun. I would love to see any upcoming cabaret on Anne of Green Gables (and will actually be in PEI this time next week!) since I read every book Montgomery wrote when I was a kid).
Even if my bosom buddy is a boy and I'll have a three month old on my bosom by then - hopefully the "straight but not narrow" girls are allowed. :)
Posted by: Heather in the 'shwa | June 30, 2008 at 04:56 PM
Witchtrivets - It's true! No one ever cuts the cheese. It's a paradise! But I hear Portland is nice too...
Heather - You're ALWAYS allowed!! Especially given your Anne fandom. I'm so jealous of your PEI trip!! I've never been. Hope it's fabulous - take lots of pictures!
Posted by: roro | June 30, 2008 at 05:08 PM
Happy Canada Day roro! I know you'll make the most of it. Slurp one for me. I like beavers!
Posted by: red mojo | June 30, 2008 at 07:15 PM
Happy Canada Day! Great post. I probably can't be in Toronto the 28th of November, so I'll reread the books in honour of the 100th anniversary!:-)
Posted by: HB | July 01, 2008 at 02:40 AM
Happy Canada Day! I love Canada. I am about 2 blocks from the Hill at the moment, waiting for everyone to wake up. Thanks for the reminder about Slurpees, all we could get in the east were the kool-aid ones, okay once and a while, but now I need a real Slurpee!
Posted by: Kristen | July 01, 2008 at 02:42 AM
Very, very amusing about the beaver.
You got to eat lunch next to k.d.? Very jealous, I *adore* her music!
Enjoy the day!
Posted by: SassyFemme | July 01, 2008 at 05:02 AM
Happy Canada Day Roro!
Posted by: seizuresalad | July 01, 2008 at 09:16 AM
Having grown up in Vermont less than a half hour from the Canadian border - I have Canada to thank for many firsts...first time in a bar...first professional hockey game...first time eating gravy fries topped with cheese...the list goes on...
But one of the best parts of growing up this close to Canada was Canadian television! The Canadian channels came in far better than the American which meant many hours devoted to Anne of Green Gables and some music video show that featured Corey Hart and Glass Tiger on constant rotation.
Canada, I salute you!
Posted by: Jess | July 01, 2008 at 10:50 AM
I'll confess that "Exs & Ohs" is a guilty pleasure of mine.
Happy Canada Day, to you and yours. My father is Canadian, and this time of the year is so much fun. Canada Day and Independence Day -- all in one week!
BTW, I didn't do the slurpee thing, but I did get a Double Gulp (no vodka, though ... :-( ).
Posted by: greymatters | July 01, 2008 at 04:31 PM
Seeing k.d. lang in concert a couple weeks ago made me understand how straight women can be impressed by Tom Jones.
I had to, you know, fan my bosoms and stuff.
If I'd actually been on a date... goodness!
Posted by: Catherine Winters | July 02, 2008 at 12:05 PM
I will have to search for Exes and Ohs. Marnie Alton also starred as my junior high classmate (featured in such situation comedies as "math" and "language arts") and while I am delighted that she continues to find work as an actress, I am, of course, viciously disappointed that she has not agreed to age along with the rest of us.
And I have noted November 28 in my calendar. I always seem to have to go to Toronto for inane things, so a celebration of kindred spirits and lesbianism seems apropos. I'll even invite my pretend-secret-lesbian-lover to join me.
Posted by: bevin | July 03, 2008 at 11:07 AM
red mojo - Hahahaa! Dirty.
HB - Rereading the books is always a good way to honour the Anne-iversary. Well done.
Kristen - Canada Day on the Hill! Cool beans!! Hope it was grand!
SassyFemme - I did get to eat lunch next to her! I was 12 and the folk fest performers and volunteers all ate at the same tent. I felt very cool.
Seizuresalad - You too!
Jess - Yay! I'm so glad Canada was a source of joy to you as a youngster! I totally remember that Corey Hart/Glass Tiger channel. What was that about??
greymatters - It's rapidly becoming a guilty pleasure of mine too. And yay Canadian dad! And well done on the Double Gulp. You can work up to the Slurpee.
Catherine - Goodness indeed! That k.d. - pretty magnetic lass.
Bevin - "eatured in such situation comedies as "math" and "language arts"" - HAHAHAHAA!! Fantastic. Yes, totally look her up. She is still freakishly young looking. And it would be AWESOME if you and your pretend-secret-lesbian-lover come down to TO for the cabaret. I promise currant wine, fruitcake and dirty, dirty jokes.
Posted by: roro | July 04, 2008 at 09:25 AM