Creampuff Just Wants You to Realize Your Potential

We're coming up on the 2008 Olympics and it's looking like my dream - competing in the 2008 Creampuff Olympics - will have to die, chiefly because I didn't get around to actually organizing them. But all is not lost. I might be able to salvage my dream the way ballet mothers do - by forcing it on my kids. Or, in my case, our dog.

I have a casual, chatty relationship with a few of the dog owners I see on our regular walks. When I was out with Emmy yesterday, we ran into Rubber Boots McPointerOwner (none of us know each other's names. I'm sure she refers to me as Fattie McWrinkleDog). We got to talking about the Olympic village they're building across False Creek from the park where we often meet.

"It's a shame," she says, in her jaunty British accent, "that they don't have an Olympics for dogs. They should have their goals in life too, don't you think?"

I agreed enthusiastically as I watched her dog do a full-twisting double layout before catching her floppy pink frisbee. Her dog's coat glistened in the sun. I turned to my dog, who was sniffing some dirt nearby.

"What do you think, Emmy? Should we put you in the Doglympics?"

Emmy started choking on the dirt as Rubber Boots McPointerOwner and I looked on. "Better start training now," said Rubber Boots, as her dog leapt in a graceful arc over Emmy's back to retrieve the frisbee again. Emmy sneezed dirt on my pants.

I'm quite excited by the idea of Doglympics, truth be told, but I think I may have to skew a few categories to favour our hound. Sure, we can have Agility, Musical Canine Freestyle and Pulka, but I think we may also need to add the following Doglympic sports just for Emmy Lou:

Freestyle Duck-Hassle

 

Rodentia Flush Out

Synchronized Butt Sniff

Defiant Stare Relay

Kong Lick

Independent Exploration

Bath Avoidance (a sub-category of Independent Exploration)

Bed Detection

I think that pretty much covers it - our pooch is poised to take the gold!! Unless you guys have some other "sport" suggestions...

Comments

[red mojo]

Looks like your dog isn't going to need much training at all. Shes got several of those sports all locked up, is there a dirt sniffing event of any kind? My dog excells at cookie manipulation!

[Ben]

Calvin might compete should it suit his purposes when the day comes. His skills? Hating everyone. Not trusting men with facial hair. Wielding fierce attitude. Hating everyone, aquatic edition.

Em's first photo looks dirty. Just sayin'

[seizuresalad]

I respectfully submit Pixie for Tongue Stretch:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/heyjenb/2391357622/in/set-72157604128288410/

[Maggie]

"The Silent But Deadly"

[Syd]

She might be better suited for a beauty contest. She is SO FUCKING CUTE!!!

[alicia]

She's a winner! No one will touch her in the defiant doggie stare down.

[roro]

red mojo - Of course, there must be dirt sniffing! And also, cookies.

ben - Hahaaaa! "Hating everyone, aquatic edition" - He and Emmy would be neck and neck! And speaking of necking - I know that duck photo is wrong.But it makes me laugh.

seizuresalad - Awesome! She's a shoe-in for sure.

Maggie - Hahahaaaaaaa! Team event.

Syd - Aw, you're just saying that. Because you know with Emmy out of the running, Diablo will sweep the Chicken Worrying event.

alicia - You said it. Touch her during the defiant stare and you'll get a Silent but Deadly response.

[(Not-so) Cynical Knitting Gal]

Emmy has really filled out! She looks so gorgeous.

She's got those events covered...I'm in her fan club.

[FlippyO]

I totally expected something dirty in the first picture. Large penis pretending, maybe.