Creampuff's Dog - Delicate Flower or Evil Genius?

So Katr's off in Toronto at the moment, because she's going to be on CBC's Test the Nation Sunday night! Wooo! She, along with the lovely Lex, are on the "Bloggers" team and the topic is "Trivia". Kick some Flight Crew ass, ladies! Woooo!

I must confess, I'm glad it's Katr in the hot seat and not me - the only answer I ever know in Trivial Pursuit is "Mary Pickford". And sometimes I'll just holler out "Mary Pickford!" for the whole game. We, uh, don't play often.

I always miss Katr when she goes away, but she knows I also enjoy having some fan girl friends come by for a reading of my latest installment of Gina Torres/Katee Sackoff slash fiction quiet time, hanging out pantsless, eating crackers for dinner and staying up late knitting The Sock Neverending while watching racy costume dramas and humming my new favourite song at key moments in the action.

Of course, I can't go into FULL sloth mode while Katr's away anymore, because the dog refuses to walk herself and the fuzz insist on pants-wearing, at least below Hastings St. But this trip, for the first day at least, I did get an unexpected dog-walking reprieve. Because the dog was sick. Again.

The first time the Emmy Lou got sick was the night before Katr, Jaro and I were about to take her on a 9 hour drive through the mountains to the family Thanksgiving. As she's such a stoic pup and this was the first time she'd been ill, I totally freaked out. I was sure she'd been poisoned or felled by some dog plague. There were calls to the emergency vet and yes, yes, there were tears. Everyone we talked to told us it was probably just a stomach thing and to see how she was in the morning.

The next day she was extremely tired and feeble, but seemed to have recovered enough to sleep in the car all day. So off we went through the Rockies and by the next day, she back to her old self, eating fine and annoying giant elk in the national park.

The next time she got sick was the night before Katr and I left for Toronto for our big gay wedding. Totally the same thing she'd had the last time; the only thing the two incidents had in common was that we were obviously going on a trip and she might be left behind. Hmmm . . .

Naturally we began to wonder if our pooch, who's already known among our various dogsitters as "the Canine Queen of Passive Resistance", was actually making herself sick because she thought we were leaving. We wondered what it was that was tipping her off. Were we treating her differently? Was there a word or phrase she was picking up on? Obviously, the suitcases were a dead giveaway . . . or was it really just a coincidence?

This time, Katr deliberately saved packing until the last minute, but she was no match for Emmy Lou. Clearly sensing that change was nigh, the dog was sick by sundown and the poor thing spent the evening barfing on the one rug in the house (why not the hardwood, Emmy? WHY?) and staggering around like she needed a walker.

By the next morning, she was so worn out that all she wanted to do was whiz on the median and come back inside, thus leaving my day free for hookers and blow cozy reflection. Ha ha! Poor little dog. Yet for me, delightful.

Of course, the dog is neither fully a delicate flower OR an evil genius - I think she's probably just a delicate genius. A delicate fuzzy genius who hates being left behind. Of course, now that I've deked her out by staying home with her this time, I'll be very curious to further test our theory and see if she gets sick again in February, when Katr and I take off for our annual trip to Monterey, where the sea lions await. I know you are all looking forward to a new crop of my fascinating nature videos.

In the meantime, other dog owners, if you have any dog-management tips on this topic, please feel free to leave a comment below. Because I don't think my brother's suggestion that we feed the dog some canine cannibis treats is the best way to go.

P.S. After I posted this, I realized that it kind of looks like I deliberately took a picture of the dog being sick so I could mock her on my blog. Not true! The picture is actually from the fall. And she's just SLEEPY. Okay, thank you.

Comments

[ocb]

yea right she is all "you aren't....that isn't a camera is it? Seriously? You are going to take my picture? Now? When I am so sick? *sigh* humannnnnns!"

[Serendpity, Baby!]

Oh how I know your pain. Picture a hot, sweltering week in july when you're selling your house and your partner is away and one of the dogs decides to get diarrhea. And since the house is for sale the dogs are in their crates all day, which means that when they have diarrhea, they end up covered in it head to toe, matted in their fur, while several groups of people go through your house and you while away at work unaware your house smells like a shit bomb has gone off. Get home to find your poor, miserable, shit-encrusted dog, wash him off in the back yard, launder pet beds, clean and bleach out crate, hose dog off, make the dog rice and coat it in chicken broth (organic even) and then lather, rinse, repeat for another 5 days. They have a 6th sense. I have no idea how to defeat it.

If poor Emmy is still sick maybe try giving her rice until she's able to keep it down. And, if you're as big a sucker as I am you can make it more appetizing with broth.

[Ben]

"the Canine Queen of Passive Resistance" aahhhhhhhahahahahahahaha baaaaaaahahahahahaha! I live for Creampuff! Calvin can basically tell when we're taking him to see my smurf-sized Dad who terrifies him beyond all reason. He then becomes 7lbs of guilt-inducing eyes that just scream out:

"Isn't it bad enough that everyone is laughing at me for having two dads?? HAVEN'T YOU THOUGHT ABOUT HOW I FEEL??? Don't make the suffering continue! I saw a nice, straight couple down the street who looked lonely and in need of puppy love...I'm just sayin..."

All we do is shove him in front of my dad and watch the madness...that, or distract him with peanut butter and run away while he's not looking. Does that help?

[Cynical Knitting Gal]

Gosh, after the week I had, I'm all worried about Miss Emmy Lou.

But, if this is behavioral...I've found that The Dog Whisperer on National Geographic TV is actually a great show to learn about dog behavior.

Poor Emmy loves her mamas!!

[Kristen]

hhhmmm We know some of that flight crew ass. Good luck to Katr anyway.

[SassyFemme]

I just don't get why not one of the furry kids can puke on a hard floor surface, they all have to go for carpet, whether it's the wall to wall or the throw rugs, every freakin' time!

[seizuresalad]

Well, the great dane I took care of used to whine really loudly for a while(bothering the neighbours) when I or my roomate left. We were told never to "give in" and go back to the apartment, or give her any undue attention about it because this would reward the behaviour, etc. Not sure if that is any help.

Katr and Lex and the bloggers kicked ass last night!! And Katr hugged Samatha Bee!! On live TV even.

[wenders]

Oh, those dogs, they know. THEY KNOW...Colby has taken to ONLY humping Sparky recently and we don't know if it's because he wants to play with her or because she leaves the room and then it's just me and him... I've started leaving the room, too... we shall have to wait and see. Doggie Zen class starts a week from tomorrow...

AND. KATR GOT TO HUG SAMANTHA BEE!? Whoa.

[roro]

ocb - I know, it looks so bad! But I swear I didn't do it!

Serendipity - I don't think I know YOUR pain. GAH. My GOD - that's horrible!! Poor dogs. The rice and broth idea is a good one - I'll keep it in mind for next time!

Ben - Hahahaaaaa! Oh, Calvin - having two dads is COOL! I've heard tales about the wonders of peanut butter. We haven't tried it with Emmy yet, because I'm afraid she'll turn out to be a peanut dog and I'll have to shoot her up with an epi pen.

CynicalKnittingGal - No no! You have enough to worry about! Emmy is fine - just sensitive. Like an artiste.

Kristen - I watched the show Sunday night - some of that flight crew ass was HOT. Hope your friend had lots of fun!

SassyFemme - I know! It's one of the mysteries of the ages.

Jen - Good strategy! We definitely do that with the whining but with the shivering and barfing it's harder. Especially the barfing. Does Irwin have this problem? As for the bloggers, woohoo! And I'm so jealous of Katr right now.

wenders - Ah, the humping strategy - that sneaky pooch! Hope you have fun in doggy class - we really enjoyed it. And yes, Katr hugged Samantha Bee - there are PHOTOS!! Also, she got a photo with her and Tricia Helfer from Battlestar Galactica and I totally geeked out. SO JEALOUS.

[greymatters]

Awwwwwww ... it is annoying, but oddly cute doggie behavior (and I hope it stops soon).