Creampuff's Hope Chest Complete

Know what I don't get a lot of in the mail? If you said "Gina Torres' underwear", guess again. Give up?

SOCK MONKEYS!!

That's right. Our adoptive mothers Melle (maker of sock monkeys) and Sherry (sock-choosing maven) saw fit to complete Katr and my hope chests by mail with two adorable, hilarious sock monkeys! I'm not going to lie. There were tears of joy. And then some monkey-touching.  Katr chose the smaller of the two monkeys and has named her The Lavendar Ninja. She already has a theme song and sound effects. As for me - I chose this one.

I think I will call her Stretch.

Look at the personality on that face!

This is a monkey who'll wrap her long arms around you while you tell her your troubles. And then, when you're finished, she'll say tenderly: "Are you fucking kidding me with that? You think you have problems? Please. Have you SEEN my arms? I have to make an appointment to scratch my own ass! Now get me a banana and a beer and turn on Wild Kingdom."

I took this shot after she'd had a few beers:

And then I had to haul her drunk, gangly ass off the dog:

I think she'll be right at home here.

Thanks, other moms! We're the luckiest fat lesbian adopted daughters ever!! I look forward to a future with no wedding planning, in which Stretch and the Lavendar Ninja start a band and make music videos for YouTube. Stay tuned!!

Comments

[wenders]

I need to learn how to make sock monkeys. What a fabulous "signature" wedding gift that would make. So much better than a punch bowl.

[kimananda]

That is the coolest sock monkey ever. Lavendar looks pretty amazing, too.

[Kate]

Lookit .. technically, she's not THE Lavender Ninja, she's just Lavender Ninja.

Like I'm just Katr Baibri not THE Katr Baibri ... unless someone is meeting me at a conference and says "Oh, you're THE Katr from 'My Name is Katr'" which is different.

Because imagine how weird that would be if someone said to Lavender Ninja, "Oh, you're THE The Lavender Ninja".

See how awkward the construction?

Please take note for future reference :)

[syd]

After Katr's comment, I'm really getting a better FEEL for why you two are together.

I fucking LOVE sock monkeys. And monkey touching, if I must be totally honest.

[Melle]

When I first started making sockmonkeys, lo, these many years ago, I used this pattern. Easy as pie, even for someone with my dismal sewing skills.

My "style" has evolved since then, but nothing fancy -- thumbs, ear dimples, buttons down the front, etc. Probably be really fast if you had/knew how to use a sewing machine, but mine are hand-sewn, so they take probably in the neighbourhood of 6-8 hours per.

"Stretch" is the first one I've ever made from something other than socks (kids' tights) and the thinness and stretchiness of the fabric was definitely a challenge. And fabric less bulky than work socks doesn't hide the sins of my stitchery very well. :) Main fun with Lavender Ninja was that when you cut into that plush microfibre stuff, it sheds like a muther. But so soft.

[k-prime]

OMG, an ARGYLE sock monkey??? You obviously got the far better of the two (no offense to Lavender Ninja).

[Cynical Knitting Gal]

Far too cool.