Creampuff WINS!! And Then Tries to Regift.

This Saturday, Katr and I attended the awards ceremony for ChicTech, a project which encourages young women and girls to expand on or develop an interest in Computer Science. Young ladies - it's HOT. Get in on it! Katr was there in her capacity as a website judge and sponsor-representative (kinzin was a sponsor) and I was there in my capacity as Katr's:

Me: "Arm candy?"

Katr: "Sherpa."

Me: "Oh."

When we got there, some young volunteers handed out tickets for the door prize, which I tucked into my pocket. I never win things. Also, Katr felt that because I was sitting at the judges' table, my winning a door prize could end up looking like the sponsorship scandal that toppled our country's government a few years back and no one wants that. I look enough like Paul Martin as it is.

I tell you, though, it was an exciting, inspiring evening full of happy high school girl web designers, proud mentors, encouraging female professors and kick-ass punch and by the time the door prize draw rolled around, I was too caught up in the moment to act cool. Katr's favourite thing is how, when she brings me anywhere new, I end up acting like a dork. The Chictech event was no exception.

As they started to call the ticket numbers, my hands were actually shaking. There was a moment when I thought I'd won, but it turned out that the Computing Sciences professor NEXT to me was the winner that time. "Ha ha ha!" she said to me, as she returned to the table, prize in hand. I swallowed the bitter humiliation of being trash-talked by the keynote speaker. And then, up the at the front, I heard Daphne call the magic number: 061.

"YES!!" I screamed, pumping my fists in the air and jumping out of my cafeteria chair. My only regret is not turning to the professor of Computing Sciences and yelling "In your FACE, Condon! You trash-talking hussy!" I bounced up to the front of the room to claim my winnings, urged on by bewildered clapping and nervous chuckling. "I never saw someone so excited to win a t-shirt before," quipped one of the judges. "JEALOUS?" I roared. She backed off and I fondled my prize.

Here's the shirt. I know. It's a Northern Voice shirt and it's beautiful in a way that only door prizes can be. Unfortunately, it's also "girl's large".

Just to give you some size perspective, here's the shirt on top of one of my shirts.

Needless to say, I won't be wearing this shirt, unless I slice open my leg in a horrible ice cream scoop debacle and need a tourniquet. But I WILL send this tiny shirt anywhere in the world, to the first one of you who e-mails me your list of favourite lesbians books and/or movies.

Remember back in February when I pleaded with you all for some lesbian book recommendations? Well, one of you - Smitty - actually WRITES lesbian books and she dropped hers off at my door in Toronto in March and I devoured them both, like a starving creampuff in a Tim Hortons. Of Drag Kings and the Wheel of Fate and Burning Dreams, both published by Bold Strokes Books, were, as I said to Smitty, fantastic and just the thing to be reading while I was away from, and pining for, my love. Because there's no better way to exacerbate your already frustrating desires and yearnings than reading hot lesbian fiction. I decided, while following the adventures of professor Rosalind and hot young drag king Taryn, that I need to start making a list, not just for me, but for all the other lesbians who are looking for some good fiction!! That's right - I don't do these things for me. I do them for YOU.

To that end, I've finally started my lesbian book list over at Squidoo (where my better half has the #1 "Shopping" lens at the moment). It's still a work in progress, obviously and I'll tell you now, I'm only listing books I actually liked. I hate to miss out on giving bitchy reviews, though, so I also started a lesbian film list. Because Katr and I watched Girlplay this weekend and while I'm glad Lacie and What's-Her-Name found lurve in the theatre, the movie sucked so bad I still have the marks.

Comments

[zuhn]

Free t-shirts are the best! Alas, I have nothing for you in return.

[Sparkles]

Hmmm...well that shirt *should* fit me...but books? It can be anything? Even if I know, for a fact, that you've read it? Or can it be really kitchy movies???

Ok, here goes:
Books:
Night Watch
Tipping the Velvet
Dykes to Watch Out For (any of them...does that count as literary?)

Movies:
But I'm a Cheerleader
Tipping the Velvet
Fingersmith
Better Than Chocolate

[roro]

zuhn - I highly doubt that. How about a sexy PowerPoint presentation?

[roro]

Sparkles - the shirt is yours, my speedy friend! It can double as a housewarming gift . . .

[Winter]

I may have missed out on the t-shirt, but I will see if I can come up with a list tomorrow.

[Kristen]

Glad you enjoyed yourself! I like door prizes as well, but never win them. I have no books to recommend, I DO have fresh chocolate cake, but you are too far away :(

[Melle]

Wanna trade? :)

(Alas, I don't really know much about lesbian fiction...)

[ally bean]

You're clever. Why not turn your girl t-shirt into a cute square pillow? Then you can show the world that you are lucky and crafty all at once.

[Catherine Winters]

Hey, I have one of those! Mine's a large too, AND it was free, because Social Signal sponsored Northern Voice and that entitled me to free stuff. I think. They didn't seem all, "hey, you have to pay for that" so I assume they were okay with it.

When they were handing them out, I asked for a small, since... hey, that sounds about right. They handed me something that -- no kidding -- was smaller than my laptop screen when fully spread. I thought it was a joke at first. You know, "ha ha, no, this is for 6-year-old bloggers."

Apparently, this is what happens when your T-shirts are made by a company with a creepy, sexual-harassment-lawsuit-receiving CEO who does personal photoshoots with barely-legal store employees and interviews prospective employees in his underwear.

But hey, American Apparel is still apparently one of the best manufacturing companies to work for if you don't actually interact with Dov Charney on a day-to-day basis, and they actually manufacture clothes in LA. Craziness!

[roro]

Winter - sweet! I would love to see your list.

Kristen - Oh my god. Fresh chocolate cake!! I might need to go have a little cry . . .

Melle - Hahahahahahaaaa! At least you could get yours ON . . .

Ally Bean - I AM clever! But not as clever as you - love the pillow idea! Maybe next time.

Catherine - You're hilarious. And right - what a creepy, creepy man. I'm so conflicted - non-sweat-shop labour vs. disgusting jerk off owner. Hmmm . . .

[Winter]

Ok, here goes:

Virginia Woolf: Orlando (not strictly lesbian, but speaks to lesbian sexuality)
Jeanette Winterson: Oranges are not the only Fruit
Sarah Waters: Tipping the Velvet
Alice Walker: The Color Purple
Audre Lorde: Zami: A New Spelling of my Name
Dorothy Alison: Trash
Sarah Schulman: After Dolores
Any Dykes to Watch Out For
The Penguin Book of Lesbian Short Stories
Adrienne Rich: Poetry and Prose
Emma Donoghue: Poems Between Women

[wenders]

Sparky and I just watched Imagine Me & You, which I liked (it's British, and one of the women owns a flower store!) and Sparky did not. So, there's a movie for ya. :) And one that might start a debate, too. So intellectual for a romantic (lesbian) comedy.

[SassyFemme]

ChicTech looks like such a wonderful program! As a computer teacher, I only wish we had something like it in the US!

[roro]

Winter - Excellent! Thank you!! I look forward to checking some of those out!

Wenders - Also excellent! I love a debate (and flower shops). Thanks!

sassy - It is indeed pretty cool! You should start one where you are ('cause, you know, you don't seem to have enough on your plate :) Katr says it actually started in Chicago, but can't remember the details. Too many brownies?