Creampuff Nears End of Victory Lap

I'm a world class procrastinator. In fact, if there was an Olympic event in procrastination, I wouldn't get around to applying.

Given my procrastinatory tendencies, it's not surprising that I've been avoiding setting an actual end date to my victory lap here in Toronto. But yesterday, I finally booked my ticket back to Vancouver. I was proud! And then, a little sad.

An aside: I have to point out here that it's not like I don't horribly miss my beaverancée. I mean, holy shit. She was just here for two days. I'll be home in 12 days. And yet, I am a sniffling mess. My roommate Deye singing beautiful soaring opera upstairs and this news (via Syd) is not helping.

It's true that deciding to become dope-smoking West Coast hippie freaks last summer was an exciting move for Katr and I. But as you can imagine, it felt like LESS of a big deal to ME because I knew I'd be back here for 16 weeks! Living the playwright-in-residence dream! Eating Swiss Chalet for every meal! Having many coffee dates! Taking my pants off in the homes of strangers . . . AND friends! And it has been so. Of course, I realize now that the promise of the victory lap was in fact just another way of procrastinating - you know, EMOTIONALLY. And I'm rapidly getting back in touch with my deep, deep fear of change. Feels good.

Whenever I fear change, I always employ the ingenious reverse psychology move my mother used to get me to leave kindergarten: Would I rather that we hadn't left Toronto at all? Well, no. We were ready for adventure! And a hypothetical dog! Would I like to move back to Toronto now? What? And give up our balconies and hypothetical dog? No! Did you already finish that giant bag of Bridge Mix you bought on Monday? Well . . . yes, but there were circumstances. And so on.

My other (less healthy) strategy for avoiding full-on meltdown in the face of change is to offer myself a pile of delicious procrastinatory nuggets to chew over when the fear is at its most acute. I like a good mix of practical and fantasy nuggets. A sample:

• "Well, it's not OFFICIAL official until I change my Toronto cellphone number!"
• "We're getting gay married in Toronto in November! I'll see everyone then!"
• "Maybe some theatre company here will produce my lesbonic historical fiction play! To great acclaim! And then Gina Torres will call me!"
• "Katr comes to Toronto on business all the time! Maybe someone will ask ME to speak at a conference! A pantslessness conference! Yeah!"
• "Maybe someone will open a Swiss Chalet in Vancouver that delivers!"

I know, I know - we all have dreams. But hey - whatever gets you through, right? So anyway - the point is that the countdown has begun. And I will greatly, GREATLY miss all of my wonderful Toronto friends and countless other things about Toronto, but I will strive not be downhearted! I have a beaverancée to snuggle up to in 12 days! And a hypothetical dog to think about! And a pantslessness conference to plan! Oh, ha ha, and a wedding! And I have to practice not screaming when Gina Torres calls! And let's not forget my Olympic training! Which I am totally starting tomorrow.

Comments

[kristen]

Moving is hard, and you don't even have the distraction of the mechanics of moving! Try to look forward to the next adventure!

[Sparkles]

Yay for the westcoast!!! You'll be on MY coast now!!! Mwaahhaaahaaa

[Syd]

You know, I never would have sent you the devastating chocolate info, had known all that was going on.

Procrastination? I could write a book on the subject. But, I'd never get started.

[roro]

Kristen - you're so right. I WILL look forward to the next adventure. I will!

Sparkles - Mwahahahaha indeed! I'll blow some weed your way!

Syd - that's okay, honey. I was going to find out sometime and it's always better to hear these things from a friend.

[zuhn]

If you wanted dope and rotisserie chicken, you could have just moved to my 'hood! And you wouldn't have to become a hippie freak and walking around pantsless is not frowned upon.

[greymatters]

I'm glad you enjoyed Toronto so much R. I did have to google Swiss Chalet (clueless Yank that I am).

[vesper]

vancouver rocks! i'm glad you're a west-coaster!

[Winter]

As someone seeking the next big adventure and a victim of procastination syndrome, I salute you.

[roro]

zuhn - If only I had known!! If only we hadn't signed a lease! Goddammit . . .

GM - At least you went to the trouble of Googling it! I'm sure many other clueless Yanks would merely have assumed I was eating tiny houses of chocolate.

Vesper - Vancouver does rock! I look forward to gazing upon it again.

Winter - I return your salute. How's the learning to drive going? Yeah . . . me too.

[Heather]

I'm sure you'll have a blast on the left coast and be bragging about how much warmer it is and how much greener it is while we're still contending with snow and brown grass. Plus the dogs! That brings a whole other social network of weirdos to blog about! I'm sure you'll have a blast - I hear it's beautiful out there. (Plus, there's no 'shwa bringing the general IQ down of the region there like there is in TO.)

[Chgi]

Can't wait to see you again! We are so actually for-reals going to hang out. You need to see my new shagadelic carpet. I want to hear tales about your latest stint in TO.

[roro]

Heather - I'm looking forward to the social network of weirdos! Score! As for the IQ, I don't know - I HEAR things about Abbottsford.

Chgi - I know! I can't wait to check out the shag! That sounds so wrong - but feels so right . . .